I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
