we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
