What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
