I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
