Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
