Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
