Who wears a wallet chain?!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Randomize
