I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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