I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
