when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize