he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
