All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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