Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
