So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
