I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You need Xanax blowdarts
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
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