She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
