Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
