Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
