I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
