I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Randomize