puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
