Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize