you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She bit a glass in half.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
