My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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