im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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