if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
