yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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