I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
