You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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