so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
