he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Randomize
