I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
