If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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