Too much gin, very little bucket
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
