Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
