All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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