i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So apparently I’m into choking now
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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