Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
