So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
