Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
