Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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