Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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