i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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