Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
