Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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