dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
