Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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