You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
