Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize