The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
