Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
