My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
