took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
