I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
