how can u be prego again
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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