so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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