Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
pray to the hookup gods
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
