I need help removing her.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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