I am puke
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
