I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize