i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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