did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
