I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
