I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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