The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
