If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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